Domestic violence.

I just finished watching Rihanna's interview on 20/20 about the incident that happened between her and Chris Brown earlier this year.

I'll admit, when that story was first released the first thing that came out of my mouth was "she must had done something to provoke him". Obviously the stories that were released had mixed up information. In one article it said she threw his phone and keys out the window but in the 20/20 interview the police report stated that he threw her phone out of the window when she attempted to call her assistant. So obviously I thought oh shes just another girl who just doesnt know when to shut up. Then there's Chris, who came from an abusive family and all you can really say is "well, he grew up around it. What do you expect?" and that theres no possible way someone will just hit you for no reason.

And yet, I never put my own past situation into consideration. Being in a relationship where I was verbally and mentally abused for 6 months straight, him putting his hands on me once and him "attempting" suicide because he was mad at me once. And when you look back on it, I never provoked any of those arguments. He started them with me and once I showed I was hurt he would push it even farther and when I would ask him to stop it would get even worse.

When she says that the physical wounds will heal but the flashbacks dont, she's right. I hate thinking back to the day I was pinned and I couldnt move and he was screaming at me. And I just didnt know where or when it was going to end or how. Its haunting, even now, six years later its still haunting. I assume at any given minute Martin will do the same thing to me one day even though in the last five years he's never even screamed at me. But lucky for me, my business wasnt broadcast around the world.

After watching her interview, I admire her so much more. I admire how strong she is and how she quickly realized that young girls look up to her and she didnt want to send the wrong message to them. I can imagine how hard it must be for her to be away from Chris and to deal with what has happened on top of that especially if they were best friends and I admire her for being so strong about it.

And I admire that it didnt take her 8 or 9 times for her to finally walk away.

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foolishxlady A blog about my experience as a military girlfriend. My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years recently decided to join the United States Air Force. I have a more private journal about this (since I dont want to violate OPSEC) here.

This was originally suppose to be a blog about my experience as a military girlfriend & fiancée. But two weeks before my finance's BMT graduation, he was discharged for medical reasons. So, yeah, that sucks! But he still has the option to re-enlist after two years. They want to make sure he's fully recovered before coming back.

This blog, however will still be where I write about being a newlywed. We got married on December 28th, 2009 in Las Vegas, NV!

With that said, we're not married and since the military thing didnt work out, we're still on a struggle as to what we're going to do from here on out. So if you're interested in hearing about peoples struggles, you've came to the right place!