The night I came home from my CAT scan, Martin asked my mom for permission to marry me before he went home and I was standing in the hallway so I couldnt really hear what they were saying, but she sounded happy. He walked out smiling saying she almost made him tear. I heard her say "thank you for loving Hazel" but he told me after she said that she also said "really, it makes me happy that you love her so much" which is what almost got him to tear. He also asked my dad on his way home, but I wasnt there so I didnt hear that conversation. He said that my dad looked happy and he was saying that he's happy for us and whatever we decide to do.

I'm happy that my parents like Martin. He's definitely a huge change from my previous boyfriends. And I'm sure my parents see that difference. And how much he helps me all the time. Most of his time is dedicated to helping me. Sometimes I just dont get why he cares so much, but I'm glad he does. I'm sure they've seen how much I've changed since we've been together.

Now all I'm waiting for is for him to propose... I'm a little nervous lol.

I'm also debating if I should have an engagement party and where. I was thinking of having an engagement party/his going away party... but honestly, I dont feel like seeing his friends lol.

He's leaving in less than two weeks, I'm sad that hes going so soon. I swear we still had a month together, and I'm scared I'll end up shutting everyone out for the next six months. I really hope not! I hope I use the time to get things going. We'll see *sigh*.

Why now?

A few nights ago, I had a really bad stabbing intense stomach pain that prevented me from sleeping for four hours. The next day it subsided a bit but still made me achy and nauseous to the point where I ended up sleeping all afternoon. And I hate taking naps. But really there was nothing else I could do. I couldnt even stand up without feeling like throwing up. After talking to an advice nurse, she set an appointment for me. So the next day I went to the hospital and the doctor asked me a series of questions, prescribed me some stomach medicine. Instructed me to stop drinking soda and to stop taking Excedrine, and when I told her I get migraines frequently she requested for me to see a headache specialist (finally! I've only been begging my previous doctors for the last 6 years now). In addition to that, I have to get a cat scan done (and I just got the call from the hospital yesterday that I'll have to take "prep" which I'm sure is done for drink of doom) and a bunch of lab work.

I feel bad considering its Martin's last weeks here until he leaves for Basic and he has to spend it taking me to the hospital. Not ideal for your last few weeks home, right? This couldnt had came at a better time. =(

I'm feeling better today, I'm not looking forward to my cat scan. I was really hoping to avoid the drink of doom (you know that drink people always talk about that they have you take before cat scans so they can see your insides better). *sigh*. I'll just have to convince myself that tomorrow this isnt going to matter. I'm such a baby when it comes to physical pain and doing things I dont want to do, even if its for my own good. Seriously, I cant even eat fresh onion or cilantro without wanting to kill myself. I really hope this stuff isnt as bad as everyone says it is. My mom says its just a little bit salty. But you know mom's, they'll say anything to make you stop worrying! I know your game mom!!! I'm tempted to google it, but I think this is one of those things I probably dont want to know!

I cant believe he only has a few weeks left here =(. I dont want him to leave, but I know he has to. Its just going to be really hard without him here. And I hate sounding clingy, but its true. Hes the only friend I've got, without him here, I wont have anyone. At all. All my other friends are too busy going to Vegas or partying or drinking or doing some other random stupid shit. Whatever happened to just hanging out and watching a movie? Why does everything have to involve drinking or partying? I'll be fine, I guess. Do I really have a choice?

We got his engagement ring yesterday. I was hoping it would take a few days to get in, but its actually going to be coming in wayyy after the day I wanted to give it to him so now he's taking MY proposal date lol. Its okay, I'm sure he had it in mind this whole time, neither of us will say anything and ruin it though. I'm itching to get my ring already, but I think it would be awkward for me to shower and sleep with it on. It's so freakin big. At least compared to the rings I usually wear. I could probably end up scratching the hell out of someones face with it lol.

Do any of you who are married keep your ring on literally all the time?

So far.

Martin's done with all his paper work, done with MEPS, he got his job and his leave date. Took a few months to get everything done but after meeting some of the other new recruits, a few months beats waiting (and still waiting) a few years. His recruiter's three years is up so we have to meet the new one. She seems nice, but its just easier to talk to the original recruiter since she already knows everything that's going on, you know?

So yes, Martin has his job and I'm happy he finally does. It was a job he didnt want and made clear he didnt want it but with his test scores, they placed him there anyway. It isnt a bad job, he just thinks he'll find it boring. This is the military, not the civilian life anymore. You cant just pick and chose. Where they place you is where you're going to be. I actually think his job title is going to be exciting. But that's just me.

We're not getting married yet, I know a lot of people were telling me that it would be easier if we got married before he left so that the processing can be done while he's at Basic and Tech School and we wont have to wait a who knows how many months after he leaves Tech. But I dont want this to be rushed. All of this is already frustrating and awkward as it is. I want something to be normal. Him asking my parents for permission, a real engagement and the joy of getting to plan my wedding. Even though I plan for it to be in December which is still much too soon, but as far away from now as I can get it. We've been together for five years whats the big deal. You dont get your first wedding back and I dont want ours to just be rushed to not be special. Getting married is a big deal for me, especially since I dont believe in marriage. But like he said, its just something else we have to do to stay together. I'm kinda like Ben in He's Just Not That Into You "you know, we're together. We're committed, we're happy. Why do we have to ruin it by getting married?" kinda deal. With very good reason that does not belong in this blog lol.

Moving on. This is the first time in five years we'll be apart for more than just a weekend. Not hearing from him for the first six weeks of Basic is not something I'm looking forward, considering he's the only person I ever talk to or hang out. I'm going to miss him so much. And I know he'll miss me just as much, I hope he'll be alright out there. I'm sure he'll LOVE Basic. He's big on working out 24/7. I'm sure he'll hate Tech School. I'm sure he'll do fine. He's worried about the physical requirements since he's a bit out of shape but it doesnt take much for him to get back in shape, he'll be fine. I wish he didnt have to leave, but I'm thankful he's doing this to improve our lives. It's very sweet of him. Sweet isnt the word I'm looking for but I'm suffering from an insanely painful stomach ache so it'll have to do for now!

I love how caring he is to me. He's determined to get me eye surgery (my eye sight gets worse and worse every year and he's afraid I'll go blind) and getting my back fixed. I love how his priorities are taking care of me. But I wish he'd take time to wonder about himself too. He needs to get his wisdom teeth taken out, he needs braces, etc etc. Mostly the wisdom teeth since they're starting to cut through his gums again. But I guess thats our jobs right? He worries about me and I worry about him.

Decided to just make a new blog.

I was going to just make another blog on my main blogger account, but I figured the entries and the blogs would get all mixed up and I like to keep things nice and neat and organized. So I ended up just make a whole new blogger for this alone. A hassle, but in the end I'll feel better. So now, I just gotta get all of my subs off my main one and on to this one and once everything is settled: transferring subs, picking a better layout, etc. Then I'll be back with my first official blog.

Btw, in case you were wondering the blog I'm moving from is:


foolishxlady A blog about my experience as a military girlfriend. My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years recently decided to join the United States Air Force. I have a more private journal about this (since I dont want to violate OPSEC) here.

This was originally suppose to be a blog about my experience as a military girlfriend & fiancée. But two weeks before my finance's BMT graduation, he was discharged for medical reasons. So, yeah, that sucks! But he still has the option to re-enlist after two years. They want to make sure he's fully recovered before coming back.

This blog, however will still be where I write about being a newlywed. We got married on December 28th, 2009 in Las Vegas, NV!

With that said, we're not married and since the military thing didnt work out, we're still on a struggle as to what we're going to do from here on out. So if you're interested in hearing about peoples struggles, you've came to the right place!