Overslept & bad dreams...

I had a bad dream last night.

We went to Martin's graduation and after we went to this mall/shopping area place and he immediately went to the arcade and didnt bother spending time with me, so I walked off to the shopping mall and a few hours later we had to go to ceremony type thing and I didnt wanna sit with him cause he ignored me the whole day for video games but I was forced to sit next to him and he finally hugged me and it felt all nice and stuff then he told me he cheated on me. Twice. And I got really sad and just... blah.

Then he tried to kill me.

Dream Martin isnt a fan of me I'm starting to think. But I woke up sad.

This might sound weird coming from someone who's only had long distance relationships her whole life (out of 13 relationships, only 3 including this one has been local), but I sometimes doubt I can handle being a military wife. I didnt think the distance would bother me this much. I thought I'd brush it off like the usual "oh its cool I'll see him next week" type of deal (and just keep saying that every week for the next seven weeks). But its nothing like that. This distance is tiring. And I hate it. I wrote Martin a letter last night and I dont know if I should send it, I was just really angry and tired last night and I dont want to send him letters that are anything less than happy. I know it must be hard for him out there too, harder than it is for me. And I dont want to send him a letter telling him how unhappy I am, even if I am for that moment because overall, I'm not. I'm so proud of him, but I just miss him so much sometimes.

Its just hard, and its only the second week. We can get through this, I just need to stop being so impatient.

I didnt get out of bed til 1PM today, which is fine. My eye stopped twitching. Thank goodness. It's so hot today, where are you hiding autumn?



foolishxlady A blog about my experience as a military girlfriend. My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years recently decided to join the United States Air Force. I have a more private journal about this (since I dont want to violate OPSEC) here.

This was originally suppose to be a blog about my experience as a military girlfriend & fiancée. But two weeks before my finance's BMT graduation, he was discharged for medical reasons. So, yeah, that sucks! But he still has the option to re-enlist after two years. They want to make sure he's fully recovered before coming back.

This blog, however will still be where I write about being a newlywed. We got married on December 28th, 2009 in Las Vegas, NV!

With that said, we're not married and since the military thing didnt work out, we're still on a struggle as to what we're going to do from here on out. So if you're interested in hearing about peoples struggles, you've came to the right place!