Favors & Bouquet.

Today and last night I've been working on favors and the bouquet. I havent really decided what I wanted as favors, but I want something like candles or soaps. Candles might be a bit hard to transport and just all around a hassle but soaps not so much. I was first thinking LUSH and realized how pricey that's going to get. My jewelry making blogger friend Lisa offered to make soaps (shes starting to make soaps) but backed out cause she literally just started like... yesterday lol. But she linked me to someone on Etsy. So I started searching Etsy and contacted some people who have made snowflake soaps for samples in Sugar Cookie. So I'm expecting some of those next week and I'll have a bit of picking to do. Someone else does perfume/lotion solids, kinda like LUSH's solid perfume so I got some samples of that too. I might include those. Put them in a mesh bag and tie it with a ribbon with our names and wedding date. And of course the basket of blowing bubbles at the ceremony site with our ribbon.

As for the bouquet; this is a little complicated. I want white Orchids. I also want white and blue roses. Plain white roses and white roses with silver on the tips. Me and Marissa are going to get some supplies from Michaels next week to try that out and see if we can dye our own roses blue. But then I thought about it... how are we going to get those to Vegas and still alive? Unless we figure something out, bring the supplies to Vegas and quickly make them the night before/early morning. Or find somewhere in Vegas that sells/can make the roses ready to pick up and hopefully send my oh so loving cousin Aileen to pick them up for me (oh I'd love you forever Aileen)!

I need to do a bit more calling and mostly to the Ceasers Palace chapel just to clarify some things. I need to stop by Party City and custom order the ribbon and scroll through their save-the-dates and invitations again to order some of those as well.

Almost done planning.

I hope my dress comes out wonderful. I'm starting to think I should had just ordered it white as the over all color and have the Navy blue be the peek a boo color. Oh goodness!

I got 2 letters from Martin today. He's doing better. He gets to do the Wiccan Samhain celebration today or tomorrow, I think he said today. He said he plans on calling my grandpa. I'm a bit jealous. That'll be an experience for him. It kinda sounds like hes enjoying this Wiccan church, I'm glad he is. His letters were a bit more happier this time, so I'm happy about that too. I cant wait to see him again. Just a few more weeks left. This week is already over, so that's one more down. My parents have been very kind and supportive the last few weeks. I appreciate that so much.

Its hot today :( it was freezing cold the other day, what happened! I hope it cools down soon.

Lack of pictures.

I'm the type of person who likes to document their life, and with pictures. I've been so busy and everything has been so crazy that I just realized that I barely took any pictures while running from Bridal shop to Bridal shop and all of the other crazy adventures. I was just so set on getting everything set and done (with planning a wedding almost by yourself with just TWO MONTHS UNTIL the wedding, that might do that to you... I'm trying not to beat myself up too bad about it). But I will make a post about my adventures (with pictures, even if I have to pull them off from Google and Yelp) very soon.

I have a check list on the right of things I still need to get done and things I've already done. In Martin's previous letter, he mentioned that his break may be two weeks long instead of one (oh please oh please let this be true) and I'm itching to find out if hes right so I can send out save-the-date's already, but of course... with him being in basic training its a little difficult to contact him. But I will remember to bring it up the next time he call's.

This entire thing has been a really... complicated experience for me. It's been exciting, sad, frustrating and lonely. But like I said, at least I have a really helpful sister in law who'll gladly be dragged around with me while I find the perfect dress, invitations, decor and everything else. Not to mention she's coming up with better idea's than me! And thank goodness for Lisa who constantly reminds me that she's there if I need anything (soaps for favors sounds like a great idea)!

This blog is totally turning into a wedding blog and not a military blog lol. But I mean, it beats writing an entry everyday that says "sooo yeah, no letter today" right?!

I'll try to put a little more effort into my blogs, maybe it'll help with the down-ness if I channel that energy into something else, which I should be doing in the first place!

Found my wedding dress!!


I was in love with this dress that I tried on at the first bridal store I went to but it didnt come in blue, at all. It came in a baby blue but no dark blues... so I was bummed. I'm completelysmitten with that dress. I demand my sister in law has a red wedding so I can buy that dress (lucky for me, she agreed. she likes that dress too)! I had one written down that I saw from a website and I was trying on dresses similar to the one I was in love with, and surprisingly one of the ones I wishlisted they had a sample of. So I tried that on. It wasnt as lovely as the original one I wanted but its really really nice. It doesnt have a train or a long sash (which is what I kinda wanted but its kinda no big deal) but it does have that fanning out thing in the back. And its gorgeous. I got a shaw thing to go with it, I'm insecure when it comes to showing my shoulders and I got my shoes. All of a little over $300. Oh I'm so excited! We also got the table decor for $44! Michaels was having a sale, so thank goodness for that! How we're going to get it to Las Vegas without the glass shattering, I have no idea... but we'll figure something out! I really hope Martin likes my dress and the decor. Marissa will be in charge of setting up the tables if I dont come back in time since she is the one who thought of the decor in the first place!

I'm lucky to have such a helpful sister in law!

So I was pretty happy yesterday since we got a lot done, I'm just bummed I couldnt find my candle. We also got the bubbles for the wedding, we just need to get the ribbons for them now. And the invites.

I also got 4 letters from Martin yesterday. Well 3 and some paper work for his graduation. I was pretty excited but when I read them... they were really sad. All of them were. It broke my heart. I know its hard for him out there, but I didnt expect it to be this hard. He's so much stronger than that, I dont know why hes not acting like it. I know its hard for him to be away from me and to do things on his own for once, but he has to do this. I guess its just a little easier for me to be on my own cause prior to being with him, I was on my own already. So with him leaving its just like "oh, back to this" where as for him, its something completely new. I hope he graduates on time and I hope hes right about his break dates cause that means I'll get the date I wantand he'll be home for Christmas.

I wish so much I could just run over there and give him a hug and a kiss and tell him I believe in him and that he can do this. And stop being a doober face about it. But I cant. I'm here, he's there, and I feel so helpless being so far away and not being able to make it better. His last letter was really really sad. I feel so bad for him. I hope things are better now. He told me about the Wiccan church, and I'm a little jealous. We call our happy place "home". My home is curled up on his lap (like a cat, literally) and his home is laying on my lap and they told them to go to their happy place and he was talking about how real it felt. Like he could touch me and he could smell me and I'm a little jealous! I'm running off memories here! But he told me it was fun, there's more to it, but I'm sure no ones really interested to know what Wiccans do plus it sounds cultish lol. I'm also a little jealous he gets to go to Wiccan church lol.

I'm a little down today because of the letter, I'm hoping the next ones wont be so sad. My friend (who went in before him) already warned me that the first three weeks will be depressing, it gets better after that. I hope she's right.

Two months left.

Today marks two months until our wedding. Hopefully.

And nothing is done. SURPRISE! Not really.

I think I'm getting sick. I was sneezy all day yesterday and I went to bed with a runny nose, then this morning I woke up (thanks to a phone call from a bridal store I called yesterday) at 10AM with a stuffed up nose. Not good. And even now, at 5:17PM I feel like crap and all I wanna do is take a nap!

I really hope I find a dress tomorrow, its kinda my last-ish hope. There isnt much time left and I really really really need to find a dress... soon. Unfortunately the dress I wanted doesnt come out til January 2010. I know, lovely right? I wasnt aware until I called the bridal shop to see if it was in stock. Unhappy? Oh yes. Spent a bunch of time yesterday calling buffets in Vegas. I wanted to change it to the Wynn (all you can eat Gelato!) but their rules are different from everywhere elses, so I decided against it. I think I'll stick with MGM, why the heck not. I already know their food is good. Maybe we can dine at the Wynn by ourselves one of the days we're there.

Other than wedding details, I read Sweep: Book of Shadows yesterday. And I finished it in like 3 hours. It was such a good book. I just had to order the next 3! There's, I believe, right now... 14 books in the series. Though I'm not sure. It's about a girl in high school who's introduced to Wicca by the new guy (it had a total Twilight-Edward-and-Bella opening) and she's a blood witch but doesnt know it. And the book was kinda like, describing my life (at this moment) lol. Probably why I was so hooked on it. I'm thinking of making a blog dedicated to books. But I already have so many blogs that I dont know if that would be a good idea. Blah.

Havent gotten any letters or phone call's since two days ago, wow its only been two days? It feels much longer than that lol! Jazi was telling me that after three weeks everything should be better, so I'm hoping she's right. A few more weeks til his graduation so that's pretty exciting. I dont know if I should book everything now or wait til next month. I hope to hear from him soon *sigh*.

It's almost over... just a few more weeks...

Stop Overs.

I dont have a fear of planes or anything and taking off is my favorite part... but, I do have a huge problem with landing.

For as long as I can remember, landing has always been painful for me. I've been avoiding going to the Philippines for years due to this problem, the last time I went (because you transfer planes in Manila. Meaning I had to land twice) I seriously felt like my head was going to explode, it wasnt fun. I've tried to avoid plane flights that are more than an hour and a half because then I'd be tempted to sleep and sleeping can cause more discomfort. I usually force myself to stay awake and I constantly swallow, and when I say constant, I literally mean constant.

So imagine my reaction to find that to get to Martin's graduation location would be a 3 hour flight. I was planning on taking Virgin Airlines (everyone's raving about them lately) because of all the things they offer (like watching tv, IMing people on the plane with you, etc) I figure that could occupy me for 3 hours but they dont offer flights to my destination. Great. Not only that but, I found out just today that the flights will take longer than 3 hours. The shortest I've found was 4 1/2 and there's a required stop over with every flight I've found.

*insert extreme freak out here*

I've even called the airlines and they said the shortest stop over they have is a little over one minute and you're not to leave the plane (I guess its more of a drop off type thing) but that's not the problem. The problem is that I'll be landing twice in one day. My ears ache just thinking about it. What. Am. I. Going. To. Do!

My mom provided me with ear plugs when I went to Las Vegas and they helped a lot. But if you put them in the wrong way, then of course they wont work as well. But the problem is... how do you know its in right? Sure you can feel it, but you cant feel it if its slightly off. Which can cause problems. I came across this, Clear Ears but I dont think I've seen these in stores before (honestly I never really looked). But I'm interested in trying them, too bad I cant do like... a small test run. But I hope, hope, hope these work. Another thing I found (thank the God's for Google) was nasal spray, certain medicine like Paracetamol.

Someone one on one of the sites I found mentioned that it could be nasal related. It was worded differently that was much more understandable but the words arent coming to me right now. Either way, I saw it and remembered that when I was younger I shoved a peanut up my nose (my mom's an RN and as a child I was a picky eater and she use to tell me if I didnt eat she'd feed me through my nose, she failed to mention it required a tube. So being curious, I tried to feed myself through my nose. I know, smart move right?) and I remember having to go to the hospital to have it taken out since I shoved it in too far. I remember getting X-Rays for it and seeing the damaged tissue. My parents took me in for my snoring problem and that's how I ended up with nose X-Rays. I believe I was suppose to have surgery to fix the tissue but I never ended up getting it (surgery to 5 year old is not something you should mention) besides they said I might grow out of it... or something. I dont know this was 20 years ago the appointment gets hazy lol.

But! I'm curious to know, if that's the cause of my painful plane landings. I'm just afraid if it is, what are the steps to correct it. Of course, either way I'm going to have to suck this up and make it to Martin's graduation no matter how painful it may be. Since he's in the military I dont have much of a choice but to get use to flying more often. Which is not what I'm looking forward to (why could he join a branch that's more on the ground?!) but I will definitely look for those ear plugs, research that medicine, call the hospital, flush my ears and everything else before getting on the plane. I just really really hope its a going to be a smooth flight (and by that I mean no intense amount of pain).

Martin knows how I get during landings and I'm sure he's just as worried about me as I'm worried myself and I'm sure once he sees me the first thing he'll do is kiss my ears in case they still hurt.

It's the little things he does that make me miss him so much...

Phone call.

Surprisingly I got my phone call. Right after I read his letters. Eight minutes wasnt enough, I blanked out during the call. And now that he's hung up, I remember everything I wanted to say. He told me the bases he got to choose from, but I didnt really understand what he meant. The reception there sucks (or maybe its just his phone). But I'm glad I got to hear from him. I just wish every phone call didnt end in tears.



I got 2 three page letters from Martin today!!! And I got his graduation info. Yay! Does that mean I can book the hotel now? And the plane tickets? I'm excited!

He's doing good, which is good. He said he was going to write to me every night which is good cause I've been trying to not write him every night. Someone said if they get too many letters they could get in trouble but he said I can write every day if I want cause they get mail call every night. He said his first run was 18 minutes (I think they're suppose to do it in 12) and he was last coming in and everyone was saying "airforce failure" that made me sad. He'll get better, I know he will. He hasnt worked out in a while, so it'll take awhile for him to get it all back. I'm sure by now (I think he wrote that letter last week) he's got it down. It doesnt take that long for him to bounce back.

He also said he was the only one who didnt get a bump on his booty from the booty shot they get lol! Oh and... hes making his own bed. I know its required, but still, it amazes me. I wonder if he'll be making beds when he gets home. It would be amazing if he did! I swear, I was crying the entire time I was reading his letters :(

He mentioned that he wanted Olive Garden (Olive Garden is my favorite restaurant but he hates that place) and then he goes "or maybe I just wanna be with you". And hes always like that, he hates Olive Garden but if that's where I'm going to be, he wants to be there with me. He would follow me to the end of the Earth if I decided to go there. I love that about him.

I wish I was as strong as him. I always wish I was as strong as him. He keeps saying how just thinking of me gives him the strength to keep going and not quit. And for me, his absence makes me feel so weak. I always feel so selfish when I think about it.

I did write his address wrong, but he got the letters. At least now that he sent me letters, I know what his address is (its so off from what he told me, wtf lol).

I'm amazed he wrote me three pages, he hates writing. But it looked like he had a lot to say, I'll probably start writing him every night :)

Overslept & bad dreams...

I had a bad dream last night.

We went to Martin's graduation and after we went to this mall/shopping area place and he immediately went to the arcade and didnt bother spending time with me, so I walked off to the shopping mall and a few hours later we had to go to ceremony type thing and I didnt wanna sit with him cause he ignored me the whole day for video games but I was forced to sit next to him and he finally hugged me and it felt all nice and stuff then he told me he cheated on me. Twice. And I got really sad and just... blah.

Then he tried to kill me.

Dream Martin isnt a fan of me I'm starting to think. But I woke up sad.

This might sound weird coming from someone who's only had long distance relationships her whole life (out of 13 relationships, only 3 including this one has been local), but I sometimes doubt I can handle being a military wife. I didnt think the distance would bother me this much. I thought I'd brush it off like the usual "oh its cool I'll see him next week" type of deal (and just keep saying that every week for the next seven weeks). But its nothing like that. This distance is tiring. And I hate it. I wrote Martin a letter last night and I dont know if I should send it, I was just really angry and tired last night and I dont want to send him letters that are anything less than happy. I know it must be hard for him out there too, harder than it is for me. And I dont want to send him a letter telling him how unhappy I am, even if I am for that moment because overall, I'm not. I'm so proud of him, but I just miss him so much sometimes.

Its just hard, and its only the second week. We can get through this, I just need to stop being so impatient.

I didnt get out of bed til 1PM today, which is fine. My eye stopped twitching. Thank goodness. It's so hot today, where are you hiding autumn?

All this wedding planning....


I'm going to try to not do any wedding planning today. Wedding planning free this weekend (hopefully).

The favors are slowly coming together. The dress is still not found, neither are the invites or the save the dates. I called MGM the other day and the lady told me they have their own bakery on site and she'd email me their choices but I didnt get the email! Argh, so I have to call again tomorrow. I also need to ask if I'm able to light candles on the tables. The table decor is slowly coming together too. Hopefully everything works out, I'm really really worried about not getting my date. Cause if I dont, it will ruin everything. I hate how unstable all of this is.

Martin needs to call me already!! This is driving me nuts. The recruiter told me after two weeks he'd give me a call, but he called two days after getting there so I dont know if that means I dont get my two week call. And other people say that the first three weeks they're unable to call or write. Ugh.

Yesterday was fun though. Went to see Behind The Emerald Curtain with the future sis in law and I got to take a picture with Fiyero and randomly went to see if they had any tickets for yesterday for 2PM annnnnd.... they did! Haha so I took them! Had a Wicked filled day, it was awesome. And ate delicious Lobster Pad Thai from Straits, yum! Worth the $39! It was so freakin good! A nice relaxing day. I'm tempted to see Wicked next month and in December =). So I'm excited for that!

Wedding dress shopping!

Man, I'm too tired to blog. Like warm-fuzzy-tired. I just wanna cuddle under my fleece blanket right now... mMm.

Had lunch with my Auntie Heidi and Uncle Ray, mom, dad and Carlo cause they're leaving tomorrow.

Then went to get Marissa and headed out to go pay Martin's freakin school late fee. And his Kay bill. Thank goodness people know us around here, makes it easier when I'm trying to pay a bill or something. No questioning who I am or anything. I'm honestly gonna miss it! Got my free gift from Aerie, Marissa signed up for it too and she stopped me from buying this super cute hat. Grrr. Reserved the new Oz comic book, I know its early but who knows! Had lunch and brought my gyoza's home this time, whoo!! Delivered packages to the post office, whew.

So today I went wedding dress shopping. I decided to just stop by the place with the bad reviews and it wasnt so bad. The girl who helped me was really sweet and nice. Out of all the dresses I was interested in looking at, they only had one. So I went to browse around and find a few more dresses. I found a few too many.

Thank goodness Marissa was there to help me find my shoes! Those dresses were so big they swallowed me! I fell in LOVE with this ruffled one, but it was offered in navy blue so I decided on another one that was really pretty, but it just... didnt scream out to me. So I dont know, I think I'll look around some more.

But man, by the third dress, I was like "I'm getting tireeeedddd!" it was really tiring!

We also went to Michael's, I was hoping to get some idea's for favors and to get some take out boxes to pack Martin's cookies in for his graduation. Marissa found some skull ones that were on sale cause of Halloween. So score!

And we also went to Kohls and I got a cute winter coat I'm gonna wear to his grad. Paired with leggings and boots =). Marissa tried on these boots I wanted and they were niiice! Damn them for costing $40. I'll be on the look out for them to go on sale!

Oh I got my pearls!! They're all freakin... smaller than I assumed they'd be and I got my earrings from Lisa. I *heart* her! She's so sweet!

And more dresses...

After browsing theknot.com I found a few more dresses I was interested in. Problem is, they carry it in a store with bad reviews. At least, the store close to me. Good news is, two cities farther is a bridal store that carries the same dresses... with good reviews (yay) so my plan is to try on the dresses at the closer shop and order from the farther. I know, arent I smart? I'm sure my dress size is a 1 but I'm going to double check anyway and see how some of these look on me. I'm on the search for a dress with sleeves, which is pretty hard to find. I hate that I'm super skinny, I feel uncomfortable wearing sleeveless dresses. I would post pictures but there's just wayyy too many of them, so once I narrow it down... I'll be sure to post those pictures!

Got a few more things to work on as far as the wedding goes... and by "a few" I really mean "a lot". So, yeah. Yipee? I'm super thankful my cousin Janice is offering to help, thank goodness! I'm so lost when it comes to this stuff!

I found a great hotel to stay at for his graduation. Yay! I'm excited. I was scared I wouldnt find one! I'm picky when it comes to hotel's.

I'm thinking of making him a graduation gift, but I dont know what to do! I thought of baking him cookies. I already called the airlines and they said as long as its a solid food I'm able to bring it on the plane (how to package them so they dont break is another story). I'm thinking of bringing him 5-10 mini Beef Jerky packs that he likes with me (I'm sure after Basic he'd want them) and I dont know what else! I was thinkin a Build-A-Bear but that might be too girly. I was gonna make him a Goomba (from Mario) charm but that might be too ambitious lol. I dont know though, I just might! I know that'll probably make him more happy than anything. Even if it is just a tiny charm. I was gonna buy him a DSi, but I wanted to wait on that for Christmas. I think I wanna make him something for his graduation cause he always prefers when I make something rather than just buy him something. So yeah, maybe I'll do that.

Still no word from him yet. I already sent out 3 letters (working on my 4th one). No call, no letter, nothin. I know the first 3 weeks are the hardest and you cant really contact people, but man this just... sucks! I swear if I dont get something, anything by early next week I'm gonna scream! I know if he had the choice to call me, he would. So, yeah. I'm just being a baby. I just miss him that's all *sigh*.

Dress -- update.

So I called the places in my area that carried the dress line I wanted to check out and I asked about the first picture I posted. None of them had it in stock, though they were able to order it and it does go down to a size zero, none were in stock for me to try on. And no one knew the prices since they didnt have the price sheet handy. Yeah, not helpful.

As much as I would like to have that dress, not knowing the price can be a problem. I havent decided if I'm going to change dresses or just stick with the one I already had in mind in the first place. The problem with the one I had in mind is that its just one solid color. I wanted (like I said before) a double colored dress.

Ugh, this is so hard without Martin here.


So I had already picked out my perfect wedding dress from David's Bridal. But I came across this site from someones blog and I browsed it and OMG fell in love with a few dresses...

This one that kinda looks like the dress I'm getting but it has two tones. I want a two toned dress, I hate that my dress is just one solid color!

This is totally something I'd wear, I dont know if I'd wanna get married in it, but totally... something I'd rock.

I love strap less dresses, but I cant wear them before I'm too skinny. I totally wanna buy two dresses: my planned dress and my if-I-gain-weight-like-I-want-to dress!

I really really want this dress! Even if it is strap less! I love the detail on the side! And I would totally get it in that color and change my wedding colors!

I really really really really want this dress too! But I'm worried if the shaw thing would get in the way?

The only problem with this is that the site is located in NY and I'm from CA. So thats kinda, a long ways apart. I wouldnt be able to try on these dresses =\. I'm starting to think maybe I should actually look for a dress instead of just settling for any dress...

Phone Call!

I got my first phone call the other day! But it wasnt long, it was only 6 minutes and he had just called to tell me his address and he had to go.

He tried to slip in "how are you?" and "I love you so much" and I was asking how he was and he sounded like he was starting to tear and he was telling me its hard. I hope hes okay, I know he'll be okay, but I just hope hes okay right now. He's strong, I'm sure he'll be fine. Hes never been away from home by himself before, and I can imagine how hard this is for him. Not only being away from home but not being able to talk to anyone from home either. It must be nerve wrecking.

We all miss him and we're all proud of him. I hope he knows that. We're all thinking of him all the time. I try not to sleep til 2AM cause I know hes waking up around that time. It makes me feel closer to him, in a weird way.

I mailed him a letter the day after he gave me the address. Man, those addresses are complicated! I hope I wrote it down right! People were saying to wait until he writes or something just to make sure that its right. I couldnt wait that long. I hate not having contact with him! Hopefully he gets it soon though and hopefully hes able to write back soon.

I miss him so much. I had urges all day yesterday to pick up the phone and call him =(. This is the longest we've gone without talking in the last five years *sigh*.

Wedding Favors.

I was thinking about wedding favors. I havent completely decided if I wanted to give them out. I kinda want to, because I think it deserves to have favors given out! But I have a hard time trying to figure out what to give out. I have a few things in mind, like a CD of all of “our” songs. Maybe some bubble blower things and I really really want to give out candles as a favor, but I’m having a hard time trying to find candles to give out as favors that I can afford. I also have to figure out a wedding color palette. Just to make things a bit easier and so I have something solid to stick to.

This is so hard without him here and without someone to help me. Its just me and my indecisive-ness I guess!

Somethings I had in mind:

I have no idea why its not showing the text! Grrr.

I was hoping for maybe picking my favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? But that might cost wayy too much. I wish Illuminations didnt close down! I probably wouldnt figured out something with theirs. And I’m not a fan of Yankee Candle, so that’s out of the question! Hm, darn.

I hope it brings you bliss.

Me: I hope you're happy. Now that you're choosing this.
Martin: I hope it brings you bliss.
Me: I really hope you get it.
Martin: And you dont live to regret it.
Martin: I hope you're happy, in the end.
Me: I hope you're happy.
Me & Martin: My friend.

Yes, we sang a part of Defying Gravity to each other before saying goodbye. Does that make us lame? I dont really care. Its what we do, and it was actually really sad. I love you babe, I'm so proud of you. And I'm so thankful. You're my dream come true too, I'll be here waiting for you to come home. =(

Getting ready for the engagement party!

I have half an hour left of free time before I have to start running around getting ready. I swear this party was probably more stressful than planning the actual wedding. I also totally forgot to order a freakin cake! So I was calling places at 8PM last night lol, talk about high hopes right? Oh well, Martin doesnt think we should get a cake. Hm, maybe.

I still have to curl my hair, get dressed, picked out some desserts and I think that's it? I painted my nails and man I really do suck at it. But I guess painted nails are better than non painted nails? Not sure, I never paint my nails but this color is super cute! Love! I have on ELF's Royal Purple!

There was something else I had to do, and I totally forgot what. Crap.

Less than a week left.


I feel like clinging on to his leg and begging him not to go! I already asked if he could just hide me in his duffel bag and he refused :(

Planning the engagement party is stressful. I hope everything works out. I'm sure I'll be excited for the party, but sad because it just means hes leaving that much sooner! I dont even know if we'll get everything we want to get done, done. We're behind on a bunch of stuff! I thought I'd be more prepared than this! Ugh, sadness is taking over and making me not want to do anything but just sit and mope. Really, dont have time for that!

I dont want him to go :( how am I gonna get through Basic Training??

Thank you!

Thank you everyone for the congrats on the engagement! I'm excited! Though my ring makes it hard to wash my hands. And every time he squeezes that hand, I wanna punch him in the face. It hurts! Haha. But I really like it, he did SO well. I think hes more amazed with it than I am though, I swear he wants to see it every five seconds.

I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'm excited because now I can plan the wedding and do all the exciting girly things (minus having someone to do them with which is why I'm hoping Marissa will be free for the next few months so I can drag her around with me lol)! But at the same time, I'm sad and anxious because it just makes everything so much more... real. Him leaving for Basic Training, him being gone for the next six or so months... not being able to talk to him for the first six and a half weeks he'll be gone... our lives changing and growing up. I think I'm scared of that the most. Seriously, just thinking about it is giving me a lump in my throat and making me super anxious.

Is this normal? To be excited but scared and anxious at the same time?

I'm excited to start a new life, to finally get to start my life with him. But I dont want to leave my parents. I dont want to move to somewhere random not knowing how far away I'll be. I dont want to be away from my dog and cat. I couldnt imagine calling any other room "my room". I know I can always come home. I know I can always call my mom and dad. But it wont be the same, you know? I'm 24, I'm suppose to had already left home... but still. It feels so... scary =(.

I'm engaged!!

October 1st, 2009

He pulled out and read me a list of the 100 reasons why he loves me. By the time he got to the poem at the end (the one that Robbin Williams reads in Patch Adams, one of his favorite movies) I was bawling my eyes out! Then he turns to me and says "baby, I love you. Will you marry me?" he didnt get down on one knee but its okay cause I was too busy crying into his shirt lol! What a punk, he always gets me good!


foolishxlady A blog about my experience as a military girlfriend. My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years recently decided to join the United States Air Force. I have a more private journal about this (since I dont want to violate OPSEC) here.

This was originally suppose to be a blog about my experience as a military girlfriend & fiancée. But two weeks before my finance's BMT graduation, he was discharged for medical reasons. So, yeah, that sucks! But he still has the option to re-enlist after two years. They want to make sure he's fully recovered before coming back.

This blog, however will still be where I write about being a newlywed. We got married on December 28th, 2009 in Las Vegas, NV!

With that said, we're not married and since the military thing didnt work out, we're still on a struggle as to what we're going to do from here on out. So if you're interested in hearing about peoples struggles, you've came to the right place!